


Rendez-Vous

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Episode Related, M/M, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-15
Updated: 2006-10-15
Packaged: 2018-12-26 18:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12064899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Written during a case of writer's block during Limitations. Right before 2-20, of course, when I was trying to cope with the idea of 9 months in purgatory without answers. (Well, it's now only about six months, and I'm still just learning to cope, lol.) Come jump into Justin's head. --June 14, 2002





	Rendez-Vous

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

"Hello?"

"Are you free to talk?"

"No."

"Is 7:30 okay?"

"Yes, it is."

"Later."

"Bye."

"Who was that?" Ethan murmured, raising his head slightly from the cocoon of blankets.

"Wrong number." Justin replied, stroking Ethan's hair and snuggling back down into the bed.

"Good, I don't feel like sharing you this morning." Ethan smiled and reached up to take Justin's hand. "Today I want you all to myself."

Somewhere deep inside, Justin laughed at the irony.

*****

Justin's mom wasn't on the speed dial here. He punched in the number for the condo, ticked off that they could have the number for the pizza place on the phone, but not his mother's. She answered on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mom, it's me. I need a favour."

"Sure, honey, what do you need?"

"Cover for me."

"Again? That's the second time this week."

"I know."

"Are you ever going to **actually** come over and see us, or do I have to tell Molly you're a figment of her imagination?"

Justin sighed at the guilt trip, but he had to hang in there. Mom understood, and she was a valuable resource.

"I'll come, but not tonight."

"Justin?"

"Yes, Mom?"

"I love you."

"I know. Thank you." 

"You need to straighten this out, Justin. You can't keep doing this."

"I don't want to, but there's no other way. I've got to go. Love you."

Justin replaced the phone in the cradle and sighed. He couldn't keep doing this? She had no idea.

*****

Sex with Brian was perfect, always perfect. He had so many different moods, and he was a different lover in each of them. Stressed-out Brian liked it rough-and-ready, wherever they happened to be. Manipulating Brian made everything into a big game, and he had to play a certain way to get his reward. Drunk Brian was fun to be with, joking and laughing from beginning to end. Depressed Brian was a challenge; although he'd go through the motions, you had to bring him out of his shell before he'd enjoy himself. Wistful Brian was surprisingly slow and tender. He hadn't seen Happy Brian since he left - it seemed like Wistful Brian had taken his place.

Lately, Justin had been thinking more and more about the different Brians. Not the fact that they existed, he'd seen that by the time he'd known him for 24 hours. It was the fact that he'd noticed, and nobody else ever seemed to. Justin knew within two seconds of walking through the door which Brian he'd be fucking that night. Michael could be with him for hours and not catch on that Brian was angry or preoccupied. What could that mean?

What did any of it mean? Where did he fit in? Justin was all questions and no solutions, and that's why he always came back. In this bed, for a couple of glorious hours, he knew all he needed to know. While he was here, they had all the answers.

Justin needed to be loved, but he needed Brian more. Ethan always said "I love you," but at the same time, he needed to feel that visceral connection with the man he loved. Flowers and Hallmark cards were great during the day, but when the sun went down, his thoughts always returned to the last time he'd been with Brian, counting the days, the hours, the minutes until he could be with him again.

This stupid situation was his fault, and it was bullshit. He had hurt Brian. He would hurt Ethan. He'd hurt himself worst of all. It would have been great to be an experienced lover, ending an unhealthy relationship to move on to a good and decent man. He wasn't. He was a fucked up kid torn between pretty fantasies and the harsh reality of being in love with an imperfect man.

*****

It always killed him to come here. Everything was so familiar to him, and he still thought of it as home. Going home wasn't cheating on Ethan, it was just going home.

Justin exhaled a breath he didn't know he was holding when his key still fit into the lock. Considering what he had done and what he was about to do, it was laughable. Brian maybe someday changing the locks shouldn't be his biggest problem, but there it was. He needed to belong here.

"You're early."

"Ten minutes," Justin smiled and kicked off his shoes. "I promise to put them to good use."

"You'd better." Brian slid his tongue into his cheek and looked Justin up and down. "You look thinner. Have you eaten?"

"I've had everything I need, except you."

"I can change that."

I know.


End file.
